You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. – Maya Angelou
No one can please everyone, and that is, a reality of life.
A story of friendship will contextualize above.
Once upon a time, there were two buddies, Alcon and Larry. Their friendship is like true brothers.
To describe both characters, Alcon is a mature one and Larry is a young one. Alcon is a soft spoken person, responsible, and very hospitable one while Larry has this potential of being proud, energetic, talented and scholarly excelling.
They shared their own experiences in life. In reality, there is a reason why a man should pass through such empirical knowledge of the other’s learning. True enough, some philosopher says that experience, indeed, is a good teacher.
They spent their vacation wisely by exploring from one place to another. They fondly have him home hopping and having movie marathons. Watching movies on the big screen both. Out of town escapade, and visiting some friends are the usual activities that complete their summer vacation.
Larry loves to see himself doing good and documented, as the society called it, “selfie.” This guy is updated with social media every now and then. Alcon can be oftentimes found at the coffee shop with brewed coffee.
Alcon takes the responsibility for his younger brother. He reminds and gives paternal correction. This young man used this attitude to listen, but did not heed. For some naughty actions at school, Alcon told the parents of this young man. It was also a moment that this young man never talk to his buddy anymore. He got mad because he felt that this buddy intervene his life which he doesn’t like. In the story, I’m not sure if Larry’s parent does know that his son is doing gay acts. And maybe this young man is not open to talk about it with them. Larry is very good in “ninja moves,” in contrast with Alcon. Though Alcon is imperfect but being liar for Larry is normal.
So, in the story, whether we like it or not, reality check, life is not always on top. It happened that both friends are not in good terms. For the reasons that this young man got jealous with other friends if they would go with Alcon. However, Alcon never stops guiding him and taking good care of him. In worst situation, there is a point that Alcon saves Larry from the possibility of kicking this young man out at the school for escaping.
Valid knowledge of Aristotle is not only an idea, but also a sensory experience. And Heidegger, would say that every one of us is situated or thrown into the daily struggles of life. It means that every one of us has his own horizon. It comes to the point for the young man that he was not able to fuse his horizon. For Gadamer, fusing such horizon is like subject and object which subject project the horizon of the object and the object is open for conglomeration and both are willing to embrace and understanding would be the result in terms of giving meaning the present situation. Moreover, Larry tried to deviate from the moral way to his own way, focusing his own way of being gay. Alcon critiques this mentality because based on his empirical thoughts, he will foresee the possible outcome in the future that might lead this young man live into a miserable one.
Our extrinsic experiences happen for a reason, but because man has his own horizon. According to Thomas Nagel, self-preservation is man choose, in that sense, man tries to avoid pain and suffering, that neglect the true essence of it which serve as purification that shape one’s future. He becomes egoistic. According to Aynd Rand, Selfishness is a virtue. Hence, an egoistic person is selfish.
Back to the story, the stubbornness of this young man, which Alcon lamented. He hopes that every time that this young man meets their common friends, he may recall the first time he meets them. That every time this young man travels to their common places, he may remember the first time he arrived there and every time he sips his coffee, he may recollect the happy moments and sad moments with his previous friends. In some point of this young man’s life, he will say that Alcon is correct in some of his advises and reminders.
Life is a mystery. It means at some point, you cannot fathom some of life situation. I agree with Maya Angelou, when she says that you may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them that we cannot control life.
Alcon hopes and prays for dialogue or reconciliation, as well as forgiveness.
For this story, humility and acceptance one’s weaknesses are necessary to cultivate one’s life. Recognizing the human worth is one aspects to accept and recognize another human being as one among the many that need to be appreciated. As John Donne reflected on his poem, “No Man is an Island.” Because man as a social being, he must relate to one another, by this, you may not please all of your friends but you have made it to the Absolute Other. Hence, the story of friendship ended by gaining back their friendship. Despite that this young man is undergoing crisis, and I believe so that guidance, acceptance and understanding necessitated for him.
Sia lodato Gesu Cristo!
Marcelino A. Rapayla Jr.
St. Thomas of Villanova House – OAD Aspirants
Tabor Hill, Brgy. San Jose (Talamban), Cebu CIty
Tel. no. (032) 344-6100
Be an Altruist
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